Monday, September 14, 2009

* I'm Finally Back!!

Hello! I'm finally back and I'll be posting regularly again. I apologize for being such a slacker with this blog. The move sure did throw me for a loop. Seriously I kind of lost control there for awhile. It was my usual stumbling block of eating 0-5 through the morning and afternoon but in the evening, watch out! I overate almost every night. And every night I'd go to bed feeling disappointed...again...for not being stronger and not taking control of my eating. I actually let myself get into the mindset of thinking that "This is as good as it gets". I felt doomed to live the rest of my life about 20 lbs overweight. I couldn't seem to make myself change so decided I may as well accept it.
Another reason I haven't been posting is because mentally I was fighting against it. Writing new posts would mean not only facing my readers but admitting that I was making bad eating choices. No one likes to admit they're wrong. But I am now admitting it and accepting that I've been out of control with my eating the last few months.
I think there's always something new to learn from our bodies and these past months have taught me something that I'm still trying to wrap my mind around. It seems to me like my body's eating patterns are always shifting and changing. Trying to force my body to lose weight backfires on me every single time. When I try to cut back on my eating for the sole purpose of losing weight I invariably come to the same result. I eat 0-5 or less really well for a short time and then out of nowhere comes one time of eating past a 5. This leads to another and then another until I am out of control again and have to refocus myself and start over. It's a redundant cycle in which I am very fed up with...literally.
While I've noticed that when I try to lose weight I always end up gaining, I've also noticed that when I eat 0-5 because it's what makes my body feel good, the weight starts to come off easily.
This seems so wrong and so against every idea I've ever had about weight loss...but at the same time, it actually does make sense. Weight loss will happen without much effort at all if I just change the way I think about food all together. Food cannot have a high priority in my life. It can't be my comfort or my friend. It can't be my happy place. It's not a hiding place or a reward. I have to put food in its place, and it's place is to fuel my body...period! Of course I'll still enjoy each bite I take and savor it all...but once my stomach is satisfied, that's it. No more eating until I'm at a 0 again... and that's okay!
We've all heard the saying "You are your thoughts". I think this is very true. By being obsessed and concentrating on how much we despise being "fat", we're actually holding on to the fat. We can't hate a certain aspect of ourselves and expect it to magically change into something we'll love. We have to shift our focus away from what we don't like/want and start concentrating on what we do like/want and how we do want to be. If we really want to lose the weight, we need to put all our thoughts and focus into thinking and behaving as if we are already a thin person. Thin people don't obsess over food. They don't even think about food until the moment their body hits a 0. They don't concentrate on losing weight. They just live their lives and eat only when they get hungry and stop before they get too full.

As for this blog, I'm hoping to set up some kind of interactive chat which will allow us all to motivate and give each other support. Also I welcome any questions or comments you may have. Thanks again for being so patient with me. My goal is to post a new article at least once a week.


  1. I'm so glad you are back. I love reading your posts. They always help keep me motivated. Once fall hit so did my hunger, I'm not sure what it is, but it was like my body needed fuel to keep warm. I am back in control and trying to only eat when I'm hungry and not to keep warm. You look great in your profile picture. Keep up the good work!

  2. I can relate to this post on two major points. 1st of all I joined a weight loss challenge some of the sisters in our ward were doing. I used 0-5 and did great loosing 9lbs pretty quickly. But then the "hard time" you talked about hit. I'd like to say I sailed through it effortlessly which would be ideal. But I struggled for about 2 weeks. I was just getting it under control when I found out I was moving. YIKES! I immediately began eating my stress.
    I actually quit doing the weight loss challenge. Which eased a small amount of my stress since I don't feel like my weightloss is under a microscope anymore. And I'm managing to maintain the weight I lost and I haven't started gaining. (Which is better than gaining.)
    Now is a critical point for me. Will I be able to face the stress of this move without turning to eating as a cruch? Am I going to be that thin person who I want to be who eats for fuel like you said. I want to be the thin person. Do you have any tips?

  3. Glad to have you back! I too will admit I've fallen off the wagon... so to say. I lost 10 lbs! just paying attention to 0-5. But, I quit paying attention, started overeating and voila, I'm back to my old weight...

    I'm recommitting, right now :)!

  4. I'm so glad to that you are willing to do this blog again. Talking about it (as well as any other problem/goal/dream) helps put things into perspective. A lot of what you said in your last post applies to a lot of things. Sometimes you have to view yourself the way you want to view it. YOu can't hate something about you(or your life) and expect it to magically change into something you love.

  5. Yes!!!! You're back!
    Every time I read I can relate to something and it helps me get back into the right frame of mind.

    In my financial counseling one of the things we look at when we are trying to let go of wants versus needs is to give up the gym membership. So I have never considered the gym because it's expensive and there are so many things to do for free.

    Well-guess what I did? I joined the gym. I am tired of not exercising and taking care of myself. My feet and knees are pretty bad so I am going to use the swimming pool. I think that having to pay the money and surrounding myself with others who value exercise will help me be more motivated.

    As for the eating I am in TERRIBLE shape. Every time I eat more than a fist size of food I sit there and say how retarded I am. I definately need to start eating right.

    Thanks Heather for doing this. It really does help. You're awesome!!!